Crucifix Project

Dear Em,
The kids and I made these today. The boys added lots and lots of blood, but I think I'm going to hang them in their rooms anyway. I think your girls would have fun with it...
http://www.catholicinspired.com/2011/04/good-friday-craft-clothes-pin-crucifix.html





Love,
Al

Story Writing and Time in Allison's Brain

Dear Em,

This is the book written by the blogger at Red Bird Crafts. I bet you already looked at it, but just in case, here it is (go look at it!):
http://www.amazon.com/Show-Story-Activities-Childrens-Storytelling/dp/1603429883/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1337263460&sr=8-3
This is what I want to do!!! I want to be this woman! I want to have a "home" studio and write award-winning books in it and charge people $800 a day to learn how to use painted rocks to inspire their children. The only thing that annoyed me was that she kept referring to her "award-winning" book. Enough already.

I had a very deep but unrelated thought this week and just have to share. I have been so tired lately of thinking about food and my weight and whether I need to exercise and whether I should be fatter or thinner or exactly the same size, and whether these pants feel tighter than last time I wore them. I feel, at times, that food and whether or not I should eat it totally consumes my thoughts. Which is SO stupid. I mentally tally up calories and feel guilty - do you do this? - and then eat more snacks anyway. And then vow to do "better" and fail. And have "fat" feeling days and "thin" feeling days, and of course, the "fat" feeling days are miserable. And I'm not fat! It makes me feel like a crazy, self-obsessed, bad person. So, I had this revelation about my body that I have seriously never had before: my body is a gift from God, and my focus needs to be on treating my body like a gift, rather than something to hate or struggle with or obsess over. And when I remember that, all of the obsessing (shouldn't that have four S's?) seems silly. Like a weight (ha ha) lifted off my shoulders. Or my butt (double ha ha). I am going to do the best I can to pamper my body with good food and exercise and TLC and not worry about fitting into my size 2 pants. Who wears size 2 pants, anyway? Crazy, self-obsessed people. Or maybe people with diseases. I can use that extra mental time to pray or solve crimes or invent new vegan recipes or dream up ways to inspire children to want to write.

Inspired by Al

Dear Al,

I went to the state fair and avoided the butter cow. I didn't want to see the "blood" and be reminded that it may be wrong and sort of disgusting to eat a cow. I think most of us have looked the other way when it comes to meat production in order to be able to eat. And most of us don't have the discipline or desire to be vegan, or can't convince those around us of the merits of an all organic diet.

For some reason this week, everything I have read has been inspiring me to tell you about it. I am going to share it all with you here, rather than call you 18 times:) Because probably you are feeding a baby or refereeing a fight or trying to get someone to finish an assignment.

#1 cool thing: Miniature library. This man inspired this movement of little free libraries where you make a little house looking box and fill it with books and put it in your front yard. You leave it unlocked and put a sign on it somewhere that explains that if you take a book you replace it with another book. The website sells kits and has lots of cool ideas and you can join the "club". How cool is that? www.littlefreelibrary.org

#2: This article I found on Tumblr about the author Elmore Leonard who recently died. He has written 10 rules for writing fiction, which I agree with as a reader of fiction and I think you would appreciate as well. http://thepierglass.tumblr.com/post/58804351611/politicsprose-elmore-leonards-ten-rules-for

#3: This woman who wrote this book called "Show me a Story" which helps kids use art and objects to inspire storytelling. She has a blog and teaches writing classes. You want to teach writing classes. I thought you might want to check it out. www.redbirdcrafts.com

#4: Challenge based learning. I have heard of this, but found this website (also on Tumblr, which turns out not to be a total waste of time). The website explains it as using technology and hands on activities to solve problems instead of traditional teaching methods. Example: The challenge is to improve recycling in your community. https://challengebasedlearning.org/pages/welcome

At this point in my writing, you texted me to see what I was doing. ESP?

I am waiting for my classes to open up so I can see how bad this semester is going to be. I am taking Applied Statistics (gag) and am frightened. I downloaded the software and I don't understand any of it. I am also taking an education class- which means lots of paper writing and threaded discussions (double gag).

It's kind of lonely here with no kids. And also kind of quiet and wonderful. Oh, and the kids are taking the bus home this year, saving me like a whole hour! I am adding their first day of school pictures for the non-Facebook crowd.

Love, Em

Haley- 7th grade

Alyssa- 4th, Sarah- 3rd

Meat

Dear Em,
Some over-zealous vegans poured red paint all over the butter cow at the state fair this week. Did you hear about this? I think that what they did was wrong, and silly, and counterproductive to whatever they thought they were going to accomplish, but it made me wonder: is eating meat (and dairy) wrong? We've stopped eating meat mainly because of health concerns, but there is a part of me that's started to wonder exactly what God meant when he told us to have dominion over the animals and subdue the earth. God ordered animal sacrifices. He had rules about clean and unclean animals. I'm pretty sure He's okay with eating meat in general terms. But is he okay with hog confinements? With genetically altering animals so they taste better? With cutting off those poor chickens' feet and beaks? With artificially inseminating cows and making them half calves one after the other for years in a row? Am I being weird?

Love,
Al

Fuzzbutt the ferret?

Dear Al,

I think you should name the ferret either Fuzzbutt or Bacon. Did you know that a group of ferrets is called a 'business'? Weird.
I have some sore legs today. Here is some advice: before you run a 5k, you should probably train for it. I'm just saying maybe run a few times first. More than once anyway.
I am going to try to catch up on house work today. I have to pick up Haley- who is having a great time, by the way- sometime this afternoon. It's an exciting  life.
Here is a cool website I found this morning: frugalfun4boys.com. I was looking at this cool chain reaction with popsicle sticks. Check it out!

Love, Em

Obsessions

Dear Em,
I want to create a tumblr account, but I don't know if my brain can handle another internet obsession. What about Facebook? Pinterest? All of the homeschool websites and blogs I follow? Someone needs to figure out a substitute for sleeping.
We had so much fun with you and the girls yesterday. Grace especially. She cannot get enough of her cousins. Cousins, swimming suits, earrings, baby dolls, and biting/licking people are her current obsessions. We're trying to plan a pool party for our homeschool group on Aug. 14 - is that the day you go back to school? If not, maybe you guys can come over.
I have to go and get ready for church, but first, a glimpse into what the Schoonover family has been looking at online. These are the tabs that are open in my web browser:
Good Ferret Names: http://www.ferret-world.com/goodferretnames.html
JM Cremps Boys Adventure Store: https://www.jmcremps.com/
Angelicum Academy Great Books Program: http://angelicum.net/great-books-program/great-books-college-credits/

Love,
Al
 

You called me while I was writing this!

Dear Al,

I am holding myself to this one minute thing because that's really all I have today. We are going to take Haley to visit her friend Denisse in like half an hour and I have to start dinner before that. But I wanted to tell you about my new obsession. You are probably going to be unimpressed, but I can't stop myself. Tumblr. It's like a blog finding website that gathers all of the blogs you could ever possibly imagine and puts them in one spot and then you can follow whatever you want and it's like a news feed. Obsessed! The girls and I are the most impressed by blogs of cute animals or videos of funny stuff. There is literally a blog on every subject in the whole entire universe. I found one about miniature things. And one called "I love charts"- about charts. It will suck you in. Be prepared to go in and not come back out for several days. I recommend "well that's adorable" and "tastefully offensive" (do you put quotes around blog titles?).

Must go! Love you!

Em

Did you eat the scary yogurt?

Dear Al,

You are making me look bad, again. Starting businesses, blogging every day, homeschooling, making yogurt in disgusting new ways... I am doing exactly none of that. I am not even sure what I am doing but it sure is taking a lot of time and effort. I will resolve to blog with you everyday for a minute or two. It will be good for our brains I think. And by the way, are you conducting a writing workshop or are you a student? I can't tell because both could be possible. And I must be totally out of the loop because I know nothing of this or your potential business venture or most of the details of your annulment. Maybe you should focus your energy on hanging out with me so I know what is going on. We could pretend it's a sporting event and charge admission to people who want to come watch. Money maker. Like a tennis match for people who like things even more boring than tennis.

Haley gets braces tomorrow. I am prepared for lots of complaining. She thinks it will be cool. I think she will change her mind...

Love,
Em

P.S. I would like you to fill me in on some of the details here- not the yogurt- but the major life changing events. Call me when you aren't teaching :)

Making Yogurt

Dear Em,
Today, I'm making almond milk yogurt in the crockpot. (You had better not be making gagging noises...this could be good!) What if it tastes as good as Noosa? If it does, I will sell it to you for $4 per container. I have some homemade rhubarb sauce that I'm going to serve with it, if it actually turns into something. I guess even if it ends up being warm almond milk, it'll still be edible.
I started a website for my new "business" yesterday! It still looks kind of pathetic, so I'm not going to give you the link yet. I also survived my meeting with Father Schott, and my annulment papers are just about ready. There's some information I have to get from Mike, so I have to actually talk to him and tell him that I'm applying for an annulment. I think, when this is all done with, I'm going to start lobbying my congressmen to raise the age of consent for marriage to 30.

Love,
Al

So then the priest said...

Dear Em,
One of my writing books has told me that if I want to write every day, I need to lower my standards for quality. As you can tell, I have taken that advice. You should try it. It's very freeing.
I have a meeting with Father Schott (the pastor of St. Lawrence) tomorrow to discuss my "marriage narrative", a.k.a. the story of how Mike and I screwed up our marriage, scarred our children, and became adulterers by remarrying; and move to the next step in the annulment process. Will you go for me? I'll do anything. Dust your miniblinds, pick up dog poo in the yard, organize your underwear drawer, clip your children's toenails...
I talked to Ashley Larsen (Sheryl Larsen's daughter) this weekend and she said she had a whole conversation with you during which she thought you were me. Maybe Fr. Schott wouldn't notice that I was really you?
I'm leaving my laundry on the line overnight in order to coax the rain to come. Let's hope it works.

Love,
Al

Mama Needs a Job

Dear Em,
I have decided that all expenses at the Schoon house have been cut to a bare minimum. Now, I need to bring in some money, but I can't decide what to do. Tell me what you think:
1. Virtual Assistance - like what I do for Todd and what I did before Esme was born. This would be the easiest to start, I think.
2. Get CNA and do in-home care. I have decided that half the jobs in the paper are for CNA's, so becoming one would be helpful. I could work on my own or for one of a dozen places looking for them. Evenings only.
3. Tutoring. Not sure if anyone wants or needs this, but I would love to be an English/Language Arts tutor.
4. Creative writing classes for kids. Would do this maybe in conjunction with tutoring services. I have to prepare, though, so I wouldn't be able to do these until January or so.
5. Baking. NOT cakes. Cinnamon rolls? Homemade pasta? Would have to get our kitchen inspected/certified.

Whoa. Major poop from Phil. Gotta go. Love you.

Al

Emily...Where are You?

Dear Em,
We are neglecting our blog. I'm scouring the library and the internet for creative writing resources so I can plan for my writer's workshop, and it has made me realize how very little I actually write. We need to make a commitment. One minute per day? Can we do it? Phil just started crying, and he's laying on my bed, so he might fall off if I don't rescue him (and he already has a big bump on his head from yesterday's tumble out of the wagon).
I think I wrote for a minute just now. Your turn.

Love,
Al