Dear Em,
Here is a link to my new favorite parenting book: http://www.effectiveparenting.org/goodnangry.shtm.
It addresses all of the problems we struggle with at my house: anger, bad attitudes, being annoying, and lying. The emphasis is on changing the child's heart, not just the behaviors, and it gives some helpful ideas for dealing with parental anger too.
My other new find is this website:http://www.advanced-writing-resources.com. You can buy a 21 day audio course and workbook to teach your kids the "secrets" of good writing. So far, I am impressed. It isn't anything earth-shattering, but it's good advice made understandable for kids.
Love,
Al
Monday, May 27, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Pet lizard?
Dear Al,
I am glad that the piano didn't kill you. I was worried about the whole move and wish I could have been there to help you (although I know you probably wouldn't have let me anyway). Your work is done, let me move it the rest of the way.
I am not at all surprised that John knew the Leutjes either. He knows everyone! He's like Michele in that way. And he has a story about everyone too. Maybe that happens when you turn 50. HA! I totally remember Rebecca now that you say that. I remember her being at our house when we had a hamster. I think you wouldn't let me hang out with you. Meany.
I'm not that awesome Al. I'm like you, which is the only reason I am cool in any way. You are always doing 85 things that I wish I had thought of (homeschooling, knitting, cooking, gardening, etc), while I'm like watching Bravo and surfing the internet all day. I am bragging about you all the time. Sometimes I think people think I am lying because they don't believe you could possibly do everything that you do.
So we are on vacation. Todd is deep sea fishing and Alyssa and I are watching cartoons while the other two are asleep. We have been mainly swimming and eating. I have had some strange encounters with Dominicans. I was getting a massage and the woman fell asleep on me. I am not kidding. I have been hit on almost constantly, whistled at (all by the staff!), and called "skim milk", which Todd thinks is hilarious and is telling everyone to call me. The girls did this thing called Zorbing, which is like being in a big hamster ball on the water, and there was a guy videoing it who was trying to get me to buy the video and then tried to get me to bring him beer. A man in the gift shop tried to kiss me- in front of the kids!!!! And he worked there!! I don't know what is going on. Dominican men must be into white moms.
No hermit crabs. There are really cute lizards here though! If I find out how to ship you one, Esme is getting one for her birthday...
Love, Em
I am glad that the piano didn't kill you. I was worried about the whole move and wish I could have been there to help you (although I know you probably wouldn't have let me anyway). Your work is done, let me move it the rest of the way.
I am not at all surprised that John knew the Leutjes either. He knows everyone! He's like Michele in that way. And he has a story about everyone too. Maybe that happens when you turn 50. HA! I totally remember Rebecca now that you say that. I remember her being at our house when we had a hamster. I think you wouldn't let me hang out with you. Meany.
I'm not that awesome Al. I'm like you, which is the only reason I am cool in any way. You are always doing 85 things that I wish I had thought of (homeschooling, knitting, cooking, gardening, etc), while I'm like watching Bravo and surfing the internet all day. I am bragging about you all the time. Sometimes I think people think I am lying because they don't believe you could possibly do everything that you do.
So we are on vacation. Todd is deep sea fishing and Alyssa and I are watching cartoons while the other two are asleep. We have been mainly swimming and eating. I have had some strange encounters with Dominicans. I was getting a massage and the woman fell asleep on me. I am not kidding. I have been hit on almost constantly, whistled at (all by the staff!), and called "skim milk", which Todd thinks is hilarious and is telling everyone to call me. The girls did this thing called Zorbing, which is like being in a big hamster ball on the water, and there was a guy videoing it who was trying to get me to buy the video and then tried to get me to bring him beer. A man in the gift shop tried to kiss me- in front of the kids!!!! And he worked there!! I don't know what is going on. Dominican men must be into white moms.
| Girls racing- Zorbing. |
No hermit crabs. There are really cute lizards here though! If I find out how to ship you one, Esme is getting one for her birthday...
Love, Em
You're on Vacation
Dear Em,
I know you're gone, but I had to tell you this somehow before I forgot about it. We dropped the piano off in Westside yesterday (a task that was very hard and very nearly fatal - to us and to the piano), and we actually knew the couple who is (are?) fixing it. This happens to John all the time, because he knows and remembers everyone, but it never happens to me. I think it's because I'm too self-centered and tend to ignore other people; John (because he's my husband and wants me to feel good) says it's because I don't get wrapped up in gossip/talking about/prying into other people's lives. They went to our church very briefly about 6 years ago, and their stepdaughter is Rebecca Luetje, who was one of my best friends in first or second grade. Somehow, I think she's "their" stepdaughter, like maybe it's his stepdaughter from a previous marriage? Anyway, Cat was telling me all about how she knew you, and how wonderful you are, and how she wants to take you on a mission trip, and how much we look alike and "seem to have the same personality." Then she said that she never would have recognized me from when she went to Grace (our church), because my whole "countenance" was different. I think in a good way (Mike and I were getting divorced at the time; I'm assuming that I looked and acted like a complete mess). Anyway, I always feel like it's a huge compliment when people say I remind them of you. It made me feel proud of you and proud to be your sister. Thanks for being so lovable; it helps those of us who are close to you to get to know and like each other even though we may not be all that likable ourselves.
P.S. If you bring me any hermit crabs from the Dominican Republic, I'm going to call the customs authorities and report you, then flush them down the toilet.
Love,
Al
I know you're gone, but I had to tell you this somehow before I forgot about it. We dropped the piano off in Westside yesterday (a task that was very hard and very nearly fatal - to us and to the piano), and we actually knew the couple who is (are?) fixing it. This happens to John all the time, because he knows and remembers everyone, but it never happens to me. I think it's because I'm too self-centered and tend to ignore other people; John (because he's my husband and wants me to feel good) says it's because I don't get wrapped up in gossip/talking about/prying into other people's lives. They went to our church very briefly about 6 years ago, and their stepdaughter is Rebecca Luetje, who was one of my best friends in first or second grade. Somehow, I think she's "their" stepdaughter, like maybe it's his stepdaughter from a previous marriage? Anyway, Cat was telling me all about how she knew you, and how wonderful you are, and how she wants to take you on a mission trip, and how much we look alike and "seem to have the same personality." Then she said that she never would have recognized me from when she went to Grace (our church), because my whole "countenance" was different. I think in a good way (Mike and I were getting divorced at the time; I'm assuming that I looked and acted like a complete mess). Anyway, I always feel like it's a huge compliment when people say I remind them of you. It made me feel proud of you and proud to be your sister. Thanks for being so lovable; it helps those of us who are close to you to get to know and like each other even though we may not be all that likable ourselves.
P.S. If you bring me any hermit crabs from the Dominican Republic, I'm going to call the customs authorities and report you, then flush them down the toilet.
Love,
Al
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Sunday!
Dear Em,
I'm so excited to have you guys over on Sunday! My kids are going crazy trying to be patient and wait for Sunday to come; Grace asks me, daily, with a very serious look in her eyes, if "we go see my cousins today." It would be helpful if any of them had any sense of time (I'm always being asked if today is Wednesday, or Friday, or whether this is lunch or dinner, or when we go to our dad's next...they are clueless). You're such good hosts over there in Denison that I'm feeling a little pressured to make things perfect...plus I owe you and everyone else who's coming like 10 meals each because we never reciprocate dinner invitations. My excuse is that I have 5 kids (a handy excuse in many situations, I must say), but really it isn't a good excuse at all, because I always cook for 7 people and 5 of them don't eat anything, so I should be having dinner parties every night. I had to read that a few times and count the kids in my head to make sure those numbers were right. Do I really have 5 kids? Hopefully, there will be six of them on Sunday. I'm not giving birth; Brittany is invited too and said she wanted to come (can you believe it?)!
Here's our menu - this is my project for today:
Fruit salad (honeydew, strawberries, pineapple)
Homemade maple syrup bread
Arugula & fennel salad with sweet & spicy dressing
Texas caviar & chips (no oil; baked & organic chips)
African yam stew with whole grain rice
Chocolate blueberry cake with banana ice cream (no eggs, no oil, no milk, all delicious)
Drinks - thinking about making Bloody Marys and/or Mimosas
I have vacuumed and dusted and scrubbed the bathroom too. I did this in the blinding light of the midday sun reflecting off the snow and it was horrifying. Soap scum and dust are apparently not as visible in normal lighting. Perfect hostessing is my goal, but if everyone has fun & the kids are relatively calm and polite (mine - I never worry about yours), I'll be happy.
P.S. You are a very, very good mom. And sister. And friend. The best I know of, really. I just thought I should make that clear.
Love,
Al
I'm so excited to have you guys over on Sunday! My kids are going crazy trying to be patient and wait for Sunday to come; Grace asks me, daily, with a very serious look in her eyes, if "we go see my cousins today." It would be helpful if any of them had any sense of time (I'm always being asked if today is Wednesday, or Friday, or whether this is lunch or dinner, or when we go to our dad's next...they are clueless). You're such good hosts over there in Denison that I'm feeling a little pressured to make things perfect...plus I owe you and everyone else who's coming like 10 meals each because we never reciprocate dinner invitations. My excuse is that I have 5 kids (a handy excuse in many situations, I must say), but really it isn't a good excuse at all, because I always cook for 7 people and 5 of them don't eat anything, so I should be having dinner parties every night. I had to read that a few times and count the kids in my head to make sure those numbers were right. Do I really have 5 kids? Hopefully, there will be six of them on Sunday. I'm not giving birth; Brittany is invited too and said she wanted to come (can you believe it?)!
Here's our menu - this is my project for today:
Fruit salad (honeydew, strawberries, pineapple)
Homemade maple syrup bread
Arugula & fennel salad with sweet & spicy dressing
Texas caviar & chips (no oil; baked & organic chips)
African yam stew with whole grain rice
Chocolate blueberry cake with banana ice cream (no eggs, no oil, no milk, all delicious)
Drinks - thinking about making Bloody Marys and/or Mimosas
I have vacuumed and dusted and scrubbed the bathroom too. I did this in the blinding light of the midday sun reflecting off the snow and it was horrifying. Soap scum and dust are apparently not as visible in normal lighting. Perfect hostessing is my goal, but if everyone has fun & the kids are relatively calm and polite (mine - I never worry about yours), I'll be happy.
P.S. You are a very, very good mom. And sister. And friend. The best I know of, really. I just thought I should make that clear.
Love,
Al
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Black Thumb
Dear Em,
I am a non-plant person. A non-plant person who is planting several gardens this year and has very low expectations for the harvest (although I REALLY want to learn to can stuff, so there'd better be at least 3 or 4 tomatoes; you and I can split a jar of homemade salsa). If all goes well, there will be tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, sweet and hot peppers, butternut squash, onions, broccoli, strawberries, raspberries, rhubarb, and herbs. And wildflowers. If not, I will try again next year. I think I'm already failing at composting, because so far, mine just looks like rotting garbage mixed with dead leaves.
I tried to get a picture of the rhubarb to send to Michele, because it actually survived and is growing stems and leaves, which I was absolutely positive was not going to happen. Must be the rotting garbage "compost" I threw onto it. :-)
I keep trying to think of something interesting to tell you and getting distracted because we have playmates coming over at 8:30 and I have GOT to shower. I've been wearing the pants you gave me and I love them, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have all of those shirts for John. You have quadrupled his wardrobe, and the shirts are all so nice, and it's good for him to see that he can wear XL now instead of XXL. We need to do something nice for Todd to thank him. Maybe I'll give him our jar of salsa.
We want to come tomorrow night! I have Bible study but don't really have to go, and Isaac has karate but maybe somehow we can skip it or something.
Love,
Al
I am a non-plant person. A non-plant person who is planting several gardens this year and has very low expectations for the harvest (although I REALLY want to learn to can stuff, so there'd better be at least 3 or 4 tomatoes; you and I can split a jar of homemade salsa). If all goes well, there will be tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, sweet and hot peppers, butternut squash, onions, broccoli, strawberries, raspberries, rhubarb, and herbs. And wildflowers. If not, I will try again next year. I think I'm already failing at composting, because so far, mine just looks like rotting garbage mixed with dead leaves.
I tried to get a picture of the rhubarb to send to Michele, because it actually survived and is growing stems and leaves, which I was absolutely positive was not going to happen. Must be the rotting garbage "compost" I threw onto it. :-)
I keep trying to think of something interesting to tell you and getting distracted because we have playmates coming over at 8:30 and I have GOT to shower. I've been wearing the pants you gave me and I love them, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have all of those shirts for John. You have quadrupled his wardrobe, and the shirts are all so nice, and it's good for him to see that he can wear XL now instead of XXL. We need to do something nice for Todd to thank him. Maybe I'll give him our jar of salsa.
We want to come tomorrow night! I have Bible study but don't really have to go, and Isaac has karate but maybe somehow we can skip it or something.
Love,
Al
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