Is He Dead?

Dear Em,

Phil is still sleeping. As in, he has not woken up since we put him to bed last night. I keep thinking, "Maybe he's not okay...I should go check on him. He might be dead!" But I know that if he is okay, this will wake him up. And if he's not okay, I'll at least have one good hour before I discover it and have to start freaking out. What you wrote about the homeschool Expo is interesting; surprising, even. I haven't had time to really think about it, but it is true that once you put yourself in charge of "school," you get to (or have to) figure out how to make it work for you and your family. We all share ideas with each other (some, like me, are always asking for them and others seem to be always giving them), but in the end, you have to rely on your own brain and skill level and interests to get the message across to the kids. You're all you've got, and homeschooling is challenging enough without trying to do something that no one wants to do. And since there is no readily available standard - or even peer - against which to compare or measure them, it is a LOT easier to be okay with who and what and where they are in school. I know I obsess over pretty much every detail of school, including whether or not the kids seem to be on track with where they'd be in the public school, but I don't feel anywhere near the pressure to keep up or compete with other families like I did when they went to school. It's the same with television, believe it or not. We don't watch a whole lot of TV, and now I've banned it completely until June 1, and we never see commercials, because all we have is Netflix. Not having commercials has been SO good for me and the kids as far as curbing the desire for more stuff. I can tell, after watching "real" TV with real commercials that I feel a little bit less satisfied with what we have. I start wanting things that I didn't even realize existed. The couch looks a little dirtier. My wardrobe seems a little less cool. Cooking without that awesome $200 casserole dish on HGTV seems a little more mundane. It's a lot easier to be happy when you're oblivious to how you compare to other people. Anyway, I love that you came and enjoyed the displays, and the kids loved seeing you and the girls. That sounded bad - of course, I loved seeing you guys too! All afternoon, they were asking if I thought you were still in town and why didn't we get to go play with you and when were we going to see you again.

And now, you'll be relieved to know that Phil is crying and must therefore still be alive.

Love,
Al